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Do You Have a Nagging Wife?

nagging lion wife

 

Do You Have a Nagging Wife? Why do women nag?  That’s an odd question for a woman to bring up.  Well, maybe it is but I know a lot of guys who want to know the answer. 

The short answer is because they are scared.

 

I hear a bunch of male voices saying ‘She isn’t scared she’s—–(bitchy, picky, overbearing, controlling, there are many words to describe her and scared ain’t one of them!)’
Nope… she’s scared. Imagine, if you will, a puppy about 8 months old.   Now, think about how that dog reacts to new things, new people, anything that makes it uncomfortable.  Now what will that pup do?  BARK. A lot.  Yap,yap,yap.  Why because the dog is scared.  It’s uncomfortable, and it’s conveying it’s unease in the only way it knows how.  Yapyapyap. 
You have two choices.  You can either …

#1 Yell at the dog and grumble because it’s a bad dog.

Or #2 you can reassure the dog.  You reintroduce the situation from a different perspective.  You speak comfortingly.  You reassure the dog it’s safe.
Which do you do with your wife?  Now before I get nasty-grams, I am not saying your wife is a dog.  I am stating the fact, that even the most logical of people have an emotional underlayer.  If a person is uncomfortable with a situation, they will bristle and lash out, sometimes, in a disproportionate way for the situation.
You have a choice.  You can grump because they are picking at you, or you can see beyond the words.  Try to understand the real problem.

  • A woman who nags about never getting help picking up the house, often is upset because she feels unappreciated.
  • A woman who nags about the kids not picking up their rooms, may be worried that the kids are growing up too fast and the kids aren’t listening to her anymore.
  • A woman who is nagging about too much time at the golf range, may be scared that you’d rather hit a ball around a lawn than be with her. 

The irony is that the reason you would rather hit the ball, is because she keeps yapping when your home.

Women are worriers by nature.  We think 14 problems ahead, which can make a person twitchy.  We plan, which is good.  We worry, which is not.  Men can’t change that.  But a wise man can understand.
If you put your arms around your wife, let her know how much you love her, spend time with just her, and express your appreciation for her strong qualities, as well as reassuring her that you love her always despite her quirks, and you will eliminate a lot of the issues that cause your wife to nag.

If a man spends quality time with his wife…time looking into her eyes, holding her hand, snuzzling her neck…he will reassure her that he is home, he is hers, and he values her as a person.  Does your wife know that she is more than the cook and the dishwasher to you?

Most people feel unappreciated.  Women feel unappreciated because men expect them to cook, clean, take care of kids while looking good, keeping their legs shaved and holding down a job.  Men feel unappreciated because they work and work then come home to a woman who complains about no money in one sentence….and no quality time in the next.  As a person, you need to show gratitude and appreciation…in all things.

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Enid

3 Comments

  1. Nice work. Yes, I agree that most people have that emotional underlayer. It is part of their upbringing. I think maybe men are just bred more to hide it with that man facade that we are supposed to have. it would be horrible if men nagged too. I have known a few that do…

    Anyways thank you for the post. It was enlightening. and a wake up call.

    • Thanks for the comment! I agree, we all have baggage. We all bring our past experiences to the table. I try to share experiences from women I have met through my 25 years of marriage. There are common threads that run through many conversations…I try to share those conversations without exposing an singular person. I think most men love their wives deeply, but I don’t believe the majority of men understand what makes their wives tick. This is just a peek into some women…an article that starts a conversation.

  2. An interesting perspective on nagging and very brave to use an analogy about training a dog. I am really not sure about ‘women being worriers by nature’, but you certainly present an interesting argument.

    • Thanks for the comment! I suppose the dog analogy would come across worse if I was a guy saying it. Women tend to think about others, we also think about things to the 5th degree. If this- then this- then this. Everything is connected. That is what I mean by a worrier. Men tend to compartmentalize more. Guys can do one thing at a time. Neither is good or bad…men and women are different.

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